Learning to Enjoy the Journey
Let me just apologize upfront for the lack of new content on the site for awhile. The last 4 months have been a whirlwind of activity with significant highs and lows.
The end of summer brought days of visitors from near and far, preparation, shopping, showers and rehearsals culminating in the Labor Day wedding of my daughter. The day of the actual event went perfectly, full of sunshine and beauty at our local botanical garden. We will have those wonderful memories for a lifetime. But within that same time frame, we witnessed the deterioration and passing of my lovely mother from cancer. The sadness of losing her just two weeks before the wedding she so wanted to attend was difficult for all of us.
A week after the wedding, my siblings and I took a day trip with my dad to Blowing Rock in memory of my mother. Again, extreme beauty coupled with the sadness of profound loss. When I could get a few minutes alone, I found myself full of questions and introspection. New beginnings - for my daughter and a blending of two families with vast cultural differences. New endings - of my time here with my mom.
This is my last long weekend away from my demanding day job for awhile. I took this opportunity to travel to my friend's mountain house on the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia. And here I sit, quietly by the river, writing.
In-between all that happened, I attended the SCBWI author's conference. So much information and stories of encouragement from other authors who have made the "writer's lifestyle" work. For the last two years, (since turning 50), my priorities have slowly been changing. My upward hill climb, to prepare my children to make it on their own, to establish myself as a leader in my field, to cultivate a prosperous home and to find healing for my heart, has evolved to pursuing peace and solitude, simplify my life, and discover parts of myself and my passions that have long been buried.
The last couple of years I have learned to give myself "permission" to try, fail and try again; to do and create things without a prescribed purpose simply because it makes me happy; and to exercise patience in order to enjoy the journey.
Lately I find myself asking "how do I fully embrace this change as a full time lifestyle"? Wandering around the farmer's market in Floyd this morning, I can picture myself living in a "tiny house" cabin, waking to the sounds of nature (not city), spending evenings on the back porch with a glass of wine quietly enjoying the sunset, mingling with the locals on a lazy weekend, and mostly, hours of writing and painting "just because".
I haven't figured out the logistics yet but I know it has to start right where I am at, before the fulfillment of the vision. I would love to just blink and be there but I have learned there is so much value in the journey. So I will open myself to allowing the changes to happen, taking some risks, patience as I go, grabbing hold of every moment of beauty and experience along the way. Thanks to those of you who journey with me! May we find our bliss!